


Body Count

by Zee



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Time, Hand Jobs, M/M, Making Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-18 05:50:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3558467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zee/pseuds/Zee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronan was a corpse in the pew in front of him, and Adam wasn’t about to give him what he claimed to want.</p><p>“Fuck off. I’m not leaving,” he said instead, his voice high and brittle but unwavering. </p><p>AU where Adam doesn't leave after Ronan's dream body dies in front of him during BLLB.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Body Count

“Oh, come on. What now?”

“Bye. That’s what.”

Adam felt anger flare up, as comfortable and reliable as a battery fueling him. Ronan made it easy to be pissed off. Adam suspected that Ronan preferred it that way, which is what made him take a deep breath and stand his ground. Ronan was a corpse in the pew in front of him, and Adam wasn’t about to give him what he claimed to want.

“Fuck off. I’m not leaving,” he said instead, his voice high and brittle but unwavering. 

Ronan bared his teeth at him and jumped off the pew, striding forward to stop just a couple inches in front of Adam’s face. “I’m not gonna tell you again.”

Adam wanted to tell him that he could try this intimidation on someone who didn’t know what he looked like when he was sucking in his last rattling breaths. But there was a thinness to Ronan’s voice that told Adam that now was not the time to treat Ronan as something unbreakable. He crossed his arms over his chest and said, “That’s fine.”

Ronan’s fists clenched at his sides and he whirled away, back towards his corpse. “Your problem, Parrish, is that you think you’re fucking necessary all the time. You’re not. You’re as disposable as any of the things I dream up.”

It didn’t even sting. Ronan hadn’t been able to drive him away with direct commands or intimidation, so now he was trying to hurt Adam’s feelings. Adam felt the dregs of his anger draining away, and he sighed. “We need to bury the body.”

“My body, you mean.” Ronan put his foot on the edge of the pew and shoved it, making it rock back. The corpse nearly fell off. Its arm was jostled to hang limply off the edge, its fingers brushing the floor. 

“Fine, yes, your body,” Adam said, suppressing a shudder. Ronan reached behind himself to scrub at the back of his skull, and Adam thought about the horrible way his back had convulsed, right before he’d died.

“I guess it’s back to the Barns, then,” Ronan said. He said it like he was announcing something, his voice loud enough to echo off the church rafters.

“Right.” Adam walked around to the other side of the body, so that he was at its shoulders and Ronan was at its feet. They stood there like that for a few moments, just looking down at it. The blood was still wet, and there was a lot of it.

“Fuck,” muttered Ronan. When Adam glanced over at him, his eyes were wide and his jaw was clenched. Adam watched him swallow. 

To be attacked by dream monsters and respond by dreaming up another version of yourself to sacrifice to them. Adam wondered if he could do that, when it came right down to it. If the idea would even occur to him. 

“Let’s go then,” Ronan said. He crouched down to grab the body around the ankles, and Adam leaned down to wrap his arms around the shoulders, awkwardly carrying the envelope of evidence at the same time. As he stood, blood from the body’s arms and neck got all over his hands and shirt. He swallowed back another shudder. He had insisted on staying for this, so he didn’t want Ronan to see that he was still shaken by it. 

The body was heavy. Somehow Adam had thought that it wouldn’t be, that being rendered from a dream would have made it less corporeal, less _something_. But it was solid and heavy and disgustingly warm in Adam’s hands. 

“How soon before rigor mortis sets in?” Ronan panted as they struggled to maneuver the body down the narrow staircase. 

“I think we’ve got a couple hours,” Adam grunted. Once they had it down the stairs, they had to carry it down the aisle to the big wooden double doors that marked the exit. It felt blasphemous to Adam, although he supposed it was the same route they’d be following if they were part of a funeral.

“Should we try to… I don’t know, conceal it somehow?” Adam said when they reached the door. It was dark out, but the church entrance was well-lit; it seemed like anyone could see them carrying a body to Ronan’s car.

“Conceal it in what, exactly?” Ronan said. “I think we just have to go for it and assume that no one is paying attention.”

“Great. Great plan,” Adam said, and Ronan shifted the weight of the corpse’s feet into one hand so he could flip Adam off with the other. Adam pulled a face at him.

“Here goes, then.” Ronan pushed open the heavy door with his elbow, then did his best to keep it open with his foot while Adam followed with the body. It was awkward and they only narrowly avoided hitting the body with the door. 

They finally managed to get it into the trunk of the car, turning the corpse over on its side and folding it until it was curled in the fetal position. Adam still wasn’t over the strangeness of maneuvering Ronan’s body when Ronan was also right here, standing next to him. He was certain that Ronan was feeling it, too, panting next to him from the effort of jamming his own body into his car’s trunk.

“Shitting hell,” Ronan said when they were done. “It would be so much nicer if these things would just go poof after they ran their use. Why do they have to stick around, being all solid and stinking and real.”

“It’s your mind that comes up with the stuff,” Adam said, and Ronan glared at him.

They were quiet on the drive to the Barns. Adam was beginning to feel tired, and he thought that if he had just left when Ronan had told him to, he’d be home by now, showered and probably ready for sleep. But then that would mean Ronan would be doing this himself, and the thought of Ronan driving his bloody corpse out here to bury it on his own was too depressing to contemplate.

The full moon was high in the sky by the time they arrived. Adam shivered as the BMW rolled to a stop. Ronan wasn’t someone he’d ever planned on burying a body with. But suddenly they had all these secrets together. Their friendship was strange and unpredictable to him, a mercurial thing with sharp edges that appeared and disappeared when he wasn’t paying attention. Adam could never be certain when he was going to cut himself, or worse, when he was going to cut Ronan.

Like tonight. Adam was keenly aware that the body in the back of the car was his fault. He pressed the envelope of evidence close to his chest. It seemed a thin, insubstantial thing to get in exchange for Ronan’s life. 

This other Ronan that was dead now, had he been fully conscious while he’d lived? Had he been fully Ronan as he’d tried to flee from the hornets and the nightmare monsters? Had he--oh, God--had he recognized Adam in those last few moments of his life, while he’d convulsed on that pew?

And if Ronan had replicated himself once, could he do it again? Adam had a sudden horrifying vision of Ronan showing up with an army of his selves, each disposable and ready to die. Adam wasn’t sure what he found worse: the thought of each of those Ronans being sentient and aware of their fate, or the effect it would have on the mind of the real Ronan to do that to himself, over and over.

“Let’s get to digging then,” Ronan said, snapping Adam out of his thoughts. Adam got out of the car after him, shoving his morbid thoughts to the side. Surely dreaming up a copy of himself was not something that Ronan would ever be doing again. He seemed just as horrified by it as Adam was, as much as he tried to hide it. Impossible to imagine that he’d willingly put himself through this again.

They retrieved shovels from one of the barns and Adam was vividly reminded of when they’d buried the first nightmare creature that Ronan had ever dreamed up, that awful bird-thing. This was worse, much worse. 

They didn’t bury Ronan next to the nightmare creature. Instead they dug a plot in the yard behind the main farmhouse. It started to rain as they worked, a light drizzle at first and then a quickening spatter, soaking them. Adam had to hide a smile at Ronan’s creative swearing. 

“This is a fucking awful picture, isn’t it?” Ronan said as they were almost done, shoveling dirt back over his body. “Two fuckers still in high school, digging a grave in the rain, getting ready to bury a double of one of the fuckers. Shit. Should be part of a horror movie or something.”

Adam laughed, a short huff since he was out of breath from the digging. “It is pretty miserable,” he agreed. 

They flung the final shovelfuls of dirt over the grave and retreated back to the shelter of the garage. Adam was sweating, and he still had dried blood from the corpse caked on his hands and arms, staining his shirt. He needed a shower, and he had half a mind to ask Ronan if he could use the one here, but something in Ronan’s expression as he looked out at the fresh grave stopped him.

Ronan looked afraid. Adam was shocked that he wasn’t guarding it more closely, but instead letting the fear show on his face like this. It made him look younger, made him look decidedly un-Lynch-like. 

It made Adam remember the Ronan who insisted that he hold a mouse to his cheek to feel its heartbeat. 

“Ronan,” Adam said, his voice soft. “It was just a nightmare.”

Ronan blinked, and looked into Adam’s eyes. “Yeah,” he said, his voice just as soft.

Ronan was looking at him now the way he he did when he thought Adam wasn’t looking. It was at the same time full of want and watchful, wary. Adam found himself stepping closer without any sense of what the consequence of this action would be, without knowing whether or not he was about to stumble upon one of those edges in their friendship.

Ronan didn’t stop him when Adam reached up a hand to touch his jaw. He didn’t stop him when Adam leaned in, ghosting a breath over Ronan’s chin. And he didn’t stop him when Adam closed the distance between them and kissed him. 

Ronan kissed back, his lips so much softer than Adam ever would have thought they’d be. Adam curved his hand around the back of Ronan’s skull, luxuriating in the feel of Ronan’s short buzz cut against his fingertips. Ronan made a small noise against Adam’s mouth and it seemed like his lips parted, just barely.

Then quite suddenly it was over. Ronan got his hands in front of him and shoved Adam back, hard enough that the backs of Adam’s legs hit the BMW and he stumbled. Adam looked up to see Ronan’s face in a twisted snarl, his hands balled into fists.

“I don’t want your pity, Parrish,” Ronan spat. He was a wired thing, all sparks and coiled energy, radiating fury. 

“Pity,” Adam echoed. “That’s what you think this is?”

Ronan took a step towards him and Adam thought immediately of Ronan hitting Declan, hitting Kavinsky, hitting Adam’s father. But Adam wasn’t afraid for himself. 

“I know you,” Ronan said. “You weren’t itching to get into my pants until you saw me die in front of you. Now you think you’re doing me some fucking favor--”

 

“You’re the one who likes doing _me_ favors, not the other way around,” Adam interrupted him. “You don’t trust me, is that it? You think I’m like Gansey, looking for ways to lavish you with affection that you haven’t earned?”

Ronan looked away. “Don’t,” he said, his voice a low growl, and Adam understood it was a warning against talking any more shit about Gansey; Ronan wouldn’t hear it. 

Adam shook his head. “I don’t pity you, Lynch. You got yourself into this mess. You’re the one who wanted to go after Greenmantle. Sure, it’s shitty that you saw yourself die, but I don’t pity you.”

Ronan looked back at him, his lip curling. “Fine,” he said and lunged forward, grabbing Adam’s t-shirt. This time the kiss was different. Their mouths smashed together, hard and ugly, and Ronan’s hands pulled Adam away from the car and shoved him against the garage wall. Adam opened his mouth to it immediately and there was Ronan’s tongue, invasive and greedy and scraping over Adam’s teeth. 

Ronan pressed his body against Adam’s, shoving one of his thighs into Adam’s crotch and grinding against him hard. Adam gasped and felt Ronan’s teeth on his bottom lip. His hands found the back of Ronan’s head again, his palm smoothing over the short hair, his other hand fisted in Ronan’s biker jacket. Ronan kissed him like he was trying to bruise, like this was one more shot at convincing Adam this was a bad idea. It wasn’t working. Adam liked Ronan’s bruising kisses, liked Ronan’s knee between his legs, liked Ronan’s head in his hands. 

Adam was the first one to break the kiss. He bit at Ronan’s neck, just below his jawline, and allowed himself a smug smile when Ronan gasped. He sucked and bit some more, trailing a line down Ronan’s neck, and Ronan was vocal in response. 

“Fucking shit,” Ronan hissed between his teeth as Adam worried the skin above his collarbone between his teeth. Ronan swearing, and knowing that it was his fault, was apparently enough to get Adam hard. He rocked against him and figured that Ronan could feel it even through his jeans. He was right: Ronan’s hands clenched in the fabric of Adam’s t-shirt and he rocked back.

Adam could hear the sound of the rain coming down outside. Ronan’s skin tasted of sweat, rain and, faintly, of the dirt they’d just been shoveling. If Adam moved his mouth just slightly, he’d be feeling Ronan’s pulse beneath his tongue. The thought just made him harder. Ronan’s hands found his waist and pulled him in, then found his ass and squeezed. 

Adam didn’t know what they were doing, making out in the garage of Ronan’s family home in the middle of the night after burying a corpse. It seemed surreal. But he didn’t want to stop. Instead he wanted to go farther, and Ronan didn’t protest when Adam fit one of his hands between them, pawing at Ronan’s belt to get it undone.

Except that he couldn’t get it. “Here,” Ronan said impatiently, grabbing Adam’s wrist and moving his hand. He undid his belt himself, unzipping his fly as part of the same smooth motion, and Adam worked on his own pants situation. He hesitated before pulling his briefs down, but then he thought _fuck it_ , they were already grinding against each other, why not get naked? 

And then his dick was free and Ronan was staring at it. Adam was starting to feel self-conscious, but then Ronan ducked his head and shoved his own boxers down, and they were both naked. 

Before it could get awkward, Adam grabbed Ronan and pulled him back in for a kiss. Ronan’s tongue slid against his and their dicks brushed against each other, sending a spasm of friction straight up Adam’s spine. Then Ronan was pulling back, a smirk on his face. Before Adam could question his expression, Ronan brought his hand up to lick his palm, then reached down to wrap his hand around both of their dicks at once. 

Adam gasped. He could feel Ronan’s slick palm and Ronan’s dick, both rubbing against him. Ronan’s eyes, when Adam looked at him, were pure mischief, despite the heat rising in his cheeks. Adam felt like Ronan was getting off on surprising him as much as he was on the act itself.

It felt good. It felt extraordinarily, stupidly good, and Adam felt his hips stuttering forward to the rhythm set by Ronan’s hand. Ronan stroked them like he knew what he was doing, his hand sure and his grip tight. Maybe he had done this before, or maybe he’d just dreamt it. 

_Maybe I dreamt you_ , Ronan had said to him once. Had he dreamt of Adam like this, Adam’s cock in Ronan’s hand, Adam panting and sweaty and wanting?

Adam pushed against Ronan’s hand and Ronan squeezed him tighter, enough that it almost hurt. Adam was getting close now. He buried his face in the crook of Ronan’s neck and breathed out something that could be Ronan’s name or could be a curse. He could feel the heat of Ronan’s dick sliding against his own and the smoothness of Ronan’s palm at the same time and it was too much--

He came with his fingers digging into Ronan’s shoulder and his mouth open in a wordless cry. The world disappeared for just a few moments, and he could feel the ley line thrumming at his pulse points. As he came down from it, the energy faded until it was the same as it usually was, a presence whispering at the edges of his mind.

Ronan let go of Adam’s softening dick. Adam felt Ronan’s hand on the front of his shirt as he wiped off the come. 

“Nice, thanks,” Adam said, pulling up his head to glare at Ronan.

Ronan just bared his teeth. “Welcome to sex,” he said. “It’s messy.”

Adam wanted to object to that ‘welcome’ remark, even if it was true that he was completely new to this, but Ronan was already moving again, reaching down to grab his own dick. 

“Hey, no,” Adam said, blurrily objecting as his orgasm was still making his thoughts muzzy. “Let me, okay?” 

"Fine," said Ronan, his voice strained. Adam got his hands on Ronan’s shoulders and pushed him backward until Ronan bumped up against the car behind him. Then he let his hands slide down Ronan’s body until he was touching the bare skin of Ronan’s hips, his thumbs fitting neatly into the hollows there. 

“You gonna touch me or just think about it real hard?” Ronan groused, and Adam rolled his eyes at him. Ronan couldn’t ever stop being rude, not even after he’d just jerked someone off. Adam wasn’t sure if he found this endearing or aggravating--maybe both. 

“Shut up,” he said, kissing Ronan. He let his teeth drag over Ronan’s bottom lip as he got a hand around Ronan’s dick, his thumb rubbing over the head. Ronan hissed into his mouth when Adam squeezed, and god, it was intoxicating to have Ronan reacting to him like this. It gave Adam a sense of power that he usually only ever felt in Cabeswater or doing Cabeswater’s bidding. 

He stroked Ronan hard and fast, making him gasp and pant into Adam’s ear, and this had to be one of the most rewarding things Adam had ever done. It felt fantastic to listen to those noises and know that he was the one responsible. Adam thought about what it would be like to get even more intimate, to be down there on his knees and pulling noises out of Ronan with his mouth, and the thought made his cheeks heat up. 

Ronan wrapped both arms around Adam, clutching him hard. He dragged his mouth over Adam’s cheek and panted right into Adam’s ear, groaning out Adam’s name as he came. That was its own high, too, hearing his own name like that. Ronan made it sound sordid and divine all at once.

“Fuck,” Ronan said, his body going slack. His hand was in Adam’s hair, his fingers tugging on the strands. It hurt a little bit, not that Adam minded. 

He leaned into Ronan’s loose form, bracketing his body with his hands on the car on either side of Ronan’s hips. Both of their pants had fallen to be around their ankles. There was come all over Adam’s hand. Outside it had stopped raining. 

Adam thought that as long as he kept cataloguing the simple facts surrounding him like this, he could avoid thinking about what should happen next.

Surprisingly, Ronan was the first one to break the silence. He trailed a hand down the line of Adam’s back and asked, “So what now?”

Adam took a breath and rolled his forehead against Ronan’s shoulder. “Now we blackmail Greenmantle.”

That wasn’t what Ronan had meant and Adam knew it, but Ronan didn’t call him on it. Instead he just grunted and ran his hand back up Adam’s spine, then down again, like he was petting him. Adam found that he didn’t mind it. 

“They say that death makes people want to fuck,” Ronan said abruptly, and Adam laughed.

“Even your own death? That seems morbid. And kind of gross.”

“Sure. I’ve never needed more of a reminder that I’m still alive,” Ronan said, and Adam knew it was supposed to be a joke, but there was a raw edge to Ronan’s voice. 

Adam pulled back until he could kiss Ronan. “I can give you that,” he murmured against Ronan’s lips, and felt him shiver.

“Come inside?” Ronan asked. “There’s a bed there.” 

“Oh, a _bed._ Aren’t you fancy,” Adam said, and then felt bad for teasing when Ronan scowled. “A bed sounds fine,” he said quickly, before Ronan could rescind the offer. 

He took a step back, just far enough to allow him to pull his pants back up, and Ronan did the same. He glanced up at Adam as he buckled his belt, a curiously shy look, and Adam felt something inside him grow warm. Ronan had so many soft parts when you knew where to look. It made Adam feel horrifically responsible for not gouging into them.

“Here.” Ronan reached out a hand and Adam took it, letting Ronan lead him out of the garage and into the house. 

So Adam was going to spend the night, and he figured this would happen again. He didn't know what that made them. It was hard to picture Ronan Lynch with a boyfriend, but here was Ronan now, holding Adam's hand and walking into his childhood home with a shy but sure confidence.

Adam squeezed Ronan's hand and Ronan glanced over his shoulder at him. He gave Adam a small smile, barely sharp. Adam smiled back.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [zeegoesthere](http://zeegoesthere.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, and I love these books and am happy to discuss Adam/Ronan all day every day.


End file.
